Monday night, my husband and I attended a very special event in Austin. It was a benefit concert to raise money for the victims of the Central Texas fires. the acts included Willie Nelson, George Strait, Lyle Lovett, The Dixie Chicks, Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson, Asleep at the Wheel and the Texas Tornadoes. The Emcee for the evening was Emmy award winning actor, Kyle Chandler. It was an an amazing show musically, but also amazing was the way so many people came together for such a great cause. Over $500,000 was raised that night. My husband and I felt blessed to be there.
The musicians were incredible that night.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Music.
When I was about five, my older brother got a toodloop radio for his birthday. I remember it was blue and I was jealous that my brother could listen to music any time or anywhere he wanted. Back then, the only thing we had was WABC.
A couple of years later, my uncle gave me a stuffed mouse with a radio inside. I was in heaven. I loved listening to the radio while riding my bike. It was amazing being able to have music everywhere I went. I was hooked.
Years went by. During those years, I had boomboxes, and walkmans and cassette players. The novelty of taking my music with me never went away.
After growing up, having music was was still a huge part of my life but it was limited to my car.
A few years ago, I heard about this gadget called an ipod. I was unfamiliar with with the whole music download process so it just seemed beyond me. Itunes, ipod, imac, ihadnoclue. Whatever.
Then one night, my son won an ipod shuffle. He went home and started an itunes account. It was easy!! The next week, I bought myself a shuffle. Just like that, I had my beloved music back. In a little gadget the size of a matchbook. I was hooked.
Since then, I've gone from a shuffle to a nano to my current itouch. I take it everywhere with me. It's an everyday part of my life. Amazing that such a little device can have the capacity to hold so much music.and.make such happiness for so many people. All from a man who dropped out of college and built a computer in his garage. Rest in peace, Steve Jobs. You've most definitely made a.ding in the universe.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
A special day, today!!
Twenty five years ago, I started the rest of my life. Today was the first day of basic training for the United States Air Force. People have many different reasons for joining the military. the reason that i joined was simple. I wanted out of New Jersey. By the end of my first week of basic, things became more complicated.
I put on that uniform for the first time and suddenly it was like the blinders were lifted. I understood why I got a lump in my throat whenever I hear our National Anthem. I realized why we observe holidays like Veteran's Day and Memorial day. The red, white and blue of our flag became almost dazzling to me as i would salute it every day.
I suddenly was a part of an amazing family who lived and served all over the world. Never again would i feel left out, lonely or a misfit, as i did so often growing up.
As I sit here, I'm struck by what a different time we live in. When i was active duty, war was just an exercise in a hangar. I went through each day confident that the airmen i served with would be there every day. The only danger we faced was getting busted for drinking underage in the dorm in the middle of the night with our boyfriend.
Two towers still rose up magestically in Manhattan and our nation was innocent and secure. Today it's a whole different military. Please keep our airmen, soldiers and marines in your thoughts and prayer as they serve in such different times. these people are truly putting their lives on the line for us every day and they deserve our respect and our prayers.
I put on that uniform for the first time and suddenly it was like the blinders were lifted. I understood why I got a lump in my throat whenever I hear our National Anthem. I realized why we observe holidays like Veteran's Day and Memorial day. The red, white and blue of our flag became almost dazzling to me as i would salute it every day.
I suddenly was a part of an amazing family who lived and served all over the world. Never again would i feel left out, lonely or a misfit, as i did so often growing up.
As I sit here, I'm struck by what a different time we live in. When i was active duty, war was just an exercise in a hangar. I went through each day confident that the airmen i served with would be there every day. The only danger we faced was getting busted for drinking underage in the dorm in the middle of the night with our boyfriend.
Two towers still rose up magestically in Manhattan and our nation was innocent and secure. Today it's a whole different military. Please keep our airmen, soldiers and marines in your thoughts and prayer as they serve in such different times. these people are truly putting their lives on the line for us every day and they deserve our respect and our prayers.
The first day of the rest of my life.
Twenty four years ago, I started the rest of my life. Today was the first day of basic training for the United States Air Force. People have many different reasons for joining the military. the reason that i joined was simple. I wanted out of New Jersey. By the end of my first week of basic, things became more complicated.
I put on that uniform for the first time and suddenly it was like the blinders were lifted. I understood why I got a lump in my throat whenever I hear our National Anthem. I realized why we observe holidays like Veteran's Day and Memorial day. The red, white and blue of our flag became almost dazzling to me as i would salute it every day. I suddenly was a part of an amazing family who lived and served all over the world. Never again would i feel left out, lonely or a misfit, as i did so often growing up.
As I sit here, I'm struck by what a different time we live in. When i was active duty, war was just an exercise in a hangar. I went through each day confident that the airmen i served with would be there every day. The only danger we faced was getting busted for drinking underage in the dorm in the middle of the night with our boyfriend. Two towers still rose up magestically in Manhattan and our nation was innocent and secure. Today it's a whole different military. Please keep our airmen, soldiers and marines in your thoughts and prayer as they serve in such different times. these people are truly putting their lives on the line for us every day and they deserve our respect and our prayers.
I put on that uniform for the first time and suddenly it was like the blinders were lifted. I understood why I got a lump in my throat whenever I hear our National Anthem. I realized why we observe holidays like Veteran's Day and Memorial day. The red, white and blue of our flag became almost dazzling to me as i would salute it every day. I suddenly was a part of an amazing family who lived and served all over the world. Never again would i feel left out, lonely or a misfit, as i did so often growing up.
As I sit here, I'm struck by what a different time we live in. When i was active duty, war was just an exercise in a hangar. I went through each day confident that the airmen i served with would be there every day. The only danger we faced was getting busted for drinking underage in the dorm in the middle of the night with our boyfriend. Two towers still rose up magestically in Manhattan and our nation was innocent and secure. Today it's a whole different military. Please keep our airmen, soldiers and marines in your thoughts and prayer as they serve in such different times. these people are truly putting their lives on the line for us every day and they deserve our respect and our prayers.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ten years ago.
Ten years ago today was a beautiful day in West Texas. It was sunny and warm, with no hint of the sadness that would come in just a few short hours.
It was Tuesday. I dropped my toddler off at my next door neighbor's, then headed to Glenmore Elementary, where I was a volunteer in Josh's second grade class. Like I said, the day was beautiful. As I was pulling into the school parking lot, U2's Beautiful Day was playing on the radio. Ironically, that would be the last song I heard on the radio for many days to come. And to this day, hearing that song reminds me of that morning.
It was a busy morning in Mrs Williams room. I was busy helping the kids aith a reading assignment, when I hear an odd request over the intrcom. The office was asking for all teachers' aides to report immediately then a little while later for anyone that had a TV with antennaes to please bring them down to the office. For some reason, it reminded me of when the space shuttle Challenger blew up. I asked Ms Williams if something was happening in the news. She handed me a bit of paper that said that a plane had crashed into the Twin Towers. I had been to the twin towers as a teenager and I thought that maybe the weather was bad or it was a stunt gone horribly wrong. At that point terrorism hadn't crossed my mind.
Then the teacher's aide came back with news that another plane had hit the towers and they thought that it was intentional. The aide told me to call my husband. By the time I had called Rick, one of the towers had collapsed and there were rumors all over the place about other attacks around the country.
My husband's base was on lockdown. At that point, I was in shock. My husband was telling me all this and half my brain was registering and the other half refused to proccess any of it. At one point, I found my self asking Rick what time he would be home for lunch. It was a weird and scary conversation. I went back to Ms Williams' room and read to a couple of chilren. None of the kids knew what had happened. Though later, a fourth grader returning from a dental appointment would leak the news to his classmates. So the principal was pretty much forced to tell the older students what had happened. A part of me wanted to scoop up my kids right then and there and take them home, but I figured that they would be safe at Glenmore and i was right.
I went down the the cafeteria and loved on Benji and loved on Josh before going home. I had to get let out of the school to leave. We were on complete lockdown. The rest of the day was kind of a blur. family members and friends calling to see what we had heard and to update us.
I went to the school to pick my kids up and they had their hands full. Since the base was on lockdown, there were dozens of children who either had no way home or no one waiting for them when they got there. Everybody at Glenmore handled everything with such grace. I was so grateful that my kids were there that day. Now ten years have passed. We must never forget that day.
The rest of that week was completely horrifying. My prayers are with all of us that are affected by that day.
It was Tuesday. I dropped my toddler off at my next door neighbor's, then headed to Glenmore Elementary, where I was a volunteer in Josh's second grade class. Like I said, the day was beautiful. As I was pulling into the school parking lot, U2's Beautiful Day was playing on the radio. Ironically, that would be the last song I heard on the radio for many days to come. And to this day, hearing that song reminds me of that morning.
It was a busy morning in Mrs Williams room. I was busy helping the kids aith a reading assignment, when I hear an odd request over the intrcom. The office was asking for all teachers' aides to report immediately then a little while later for anyone that had a TV with antennaes to please bring them down to the office. For some reason, it reminded me of when the space shuttle Challenger blew up. I asked Ms Williams if something was happening in the news. She handed me a bit of paper that said that a plane had crashed into the Twin Towers. I had been to the twin towers as a teenager and I thought that maybe the weather was bad or it was a stunt gone horribly wrong. At that point terrorism hadn't crossed my mind.
Then the teacher's aide came back with news that another plane had hit the towers and they thought that it was intentional. The aide told me to call my husband. By the time I had called Rick, one of the towers had collapsed and there were rumors all over the place about other attacks around the country.
My husband's base was on lockdown. At that point, I was in shock. My husband was telling me all this and half my brain was registering and the other half refused to proccess any of it. At one point, I found my self asking Rick what time he would be home for lunch. It was a weird and scary conversation. I went back to Ms Williams' room and read to a couple of chilren. None of the kids knew what had happened. Though later, a fourth grader returning from a dental appointment would leak the news to his classmates. So the principal was pretty much forced to tell the older students what had happened. A part of me wanted to scoop up my kids right then and there and take them home, but I figured that they would be safe at Glenmore and i was right.
I went down the the cafeteria and loved on Benji and loved on Josh before going home. I had to get let out of the school to leave. We were on complete lockdown. The rest of the day was kind of a blur. family members and friends calling to see what we had heard and to update us.
I went to the school to pick my kids up and they had their hands full. Since the base was on lockdown, there were dozens of children who either had no way home or no one waiting for them when they got there. Everybody at Glenmore handled everything with such grace. I was so grateful that my kids were there that day. Now ten years have passed. We must never forget that day.
The rest of that week was completely horrifying. My prayers are with all of us that are affected by that day.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Beyond the Lights!
This weekend, I was blessed with the opportunity to volunteer at BTL. BTL is the Beyond The Lights Celebrity Golf Classic. it was hosted by Kyle Chandler and Brad Leland of Friday Night Lights. For more info, here's the link. http://beyondthelights.org
This weekend was incredible! And the Kyle encounters were just a small part of it. First off, i'd like to say, that in my opinion, the most special part of the weekend was being able to work with my son, Josh. I'm so proud of him and the way he's grown up. he has a heart for helping people and it really showed this weekend.
Friday morning, we drove to Bastrop. Beautiful weather, amazing drive. We found the resort with no problem and reported to the club house to get to work. The day before, I had been emailed a schedule of where I'd be working, but it became clear almost immediately that I wouldn't be following that schedule. The event coordinator and the volunteer coordinators were running around making everything go smoothly.
At first, we were kind of standing around, unsure of what to do . Josh and i saw Kyle briefly. He thanked us for being there. Josh told him that he had a DVD for him of Josh's latest movie, a zombie movie. Kyle thought that was cool and asked if it was fiolmed on a super 8. When we told him what kind of camera it was actually folmed on, he totally got it. Josh was impressed with that. Josh was also thrilled to meet a fellow film maker that day, who actually is going to come to the set and help Josh and film.
Josh and i set up swag bags and did some basic busy work, then I got put on a golf cart to hand out refreshments too. I relieved a few people out on the course and Josh got put on the seventeenth hole. That's the hole that Kyle, Brad and some of the other cast were at most of the day. Josh said he enjoyed watching for a little while, but then it got old. I think he was out there like three hours. I was on the thirteenth hole for a while, then I got relieved.
Aftrer getting back to the club house, i was supposed to have lunch, but ended up skipping because of the line. I went back to the ball room and help set up for the gala. I ended up putting together these shelves with scissors and needlenose pliers with a couple from Bastrop who were volunteering. One of the coolest things about this were some of the awesome volunteers I met. There were people there from out of state who flew in to help and make a weekend out of it.
Josh came back from his assignments so we three were able to eat dinner together. After dinner, we set up the swag bags for the gala.
Josh and I ended up getting assigned to sell candid shots from FNL that evening. i think we sold about a half dozen pics or so. We saw Kyle that night and spoke to him for a few moments. He seemed really appreciative of all of us volunteers and made a point to thank us all.
Josh went up and gave him his movie. Kyle started talking to him about it and next thing you know, Kyle is asking for our phone number so he can call Josh and tall him what he thought of the movie. Then Kyle said to Josh, "I need to come work for you. " Josh was just thrilled. At one point in the conversation, I put my arms around Josh and told Kyle how proud i was of Josh and Kyle was like awwww!!
We met an online friend that night, our very own Josy, who is originally from France. She came in just for the gala in hopes of meeting Kyle. At one point, she was walking by and Kyle was up ahead. She went over to meet him and Jessie and i went with her. We were both a little irritated because the people that were talking to Kyle saw us standing there waiting and just kept bending Kyle's ear.
Finally, we had our turn. Josy was awesome. She went right up and started talking to him and took pics with him. He was really impressed that she came from France. I had made a comment about adopting her and Kyle was like, "you're adopting a French girl?" " so when we posed for pics, instead of saying cheese, he said "fromage", which, is French for cheese. It was awesome. Josy was so cool, calm and collected. It was awesome to meet her that night.
We took turns guarding the volunteer room and at one point, Josh and I went to the bakery. I was thrilled that they had chocolate croissants, my very favorite thing in the whole world!!
It was then that we ran into Kyle's younger daughter. We chatted with her for a little bit, then went back to the volunteer room. After a while, we helped out with the auction, then went to our hotel. We were so tired by that pojnt, that we actually got on the elevator and just stood there. Didn't press any buttons, just stood there and were all surprised that the elevator didn't move.
We got some sleep and then it was time to go back to BTL, for the disc golf tourney. I'm sorry, call it what you want, it was throwing a frisbee into a basket, plain and simple. Josh and I got assigned to hospitality and we had a blast. We were all happy with our assignments. My son took us offroading in the golf cart a few times, but i didn't fall out, so it's all good.
Josh and i seemed like we were following Kyle and his team around a lot but they stayed hydrated, which was a good thing. I had a bad moment when I stepped into a hole and twisted my ankle, but thank God, it didn't really start hurting until today. Nothing serious, it just feels like a pulled muscle. Before we knew it, it was time for lunch.
We ended up getting a table, right behind Kyle, who was soon joined by his wife and daughter. We ate lunch and were getting ready to leave, so we stopped and said goodbye to everyone, including Kyle. When we said goodbye, he stopped what he was doing and stood up, gave me a big hug and shook hands with Josh. I told him that I was so proud of him and that the event was awesome. i thanked him for letting me be a part of it and he thanked me and Josh for coming out and helping. He had a flower behind his ear from his daughter. Too cute. He then said, "you've met my wife." and i said no i hadn't, so he introduced us. I then told her "I hope I'm not being inappropriate here, but I know how hard it was when you all were doing the commuting thing, and being a military spouse, I know it's never easy doing the single parent thing and I've been praying for you." She smiled and said that the prayers worked.
Kyle, then went on about how our family has supported the show since the beginning and that Josh has made a zombie movie. Kyle seems really thrilled with that and he said he was going to watch it soon. I then gave his wife a big hug and told her how great it was to meet her and that I'm still praying for their family. She seemed touched. The only awkwardness was when Kyle was saying about our family, he and brad and some of the other folks at their table started clapping for us. I was like really? I was a background extra.
Then it was time to go home. We drove home to more beautiful weather and made it without any problems. never even had to stop for gas.
Speaking for myself, I felt like I was so blessed to be a part of this weekend. Gridiron heroes and The Buoniconti Fund are doing awesome things to raise money and awareness for spinal cord injuries. All of these people coming together for such an amazing cause was just humbling. God bless these people.
Josh got to do something he's never done before. I stepped way out of my comfort zone this weekend. I'm not great with driving to strange places, meeting strange people and doing different things, so this was huge for me. I feel like I can move mountains now. Well, at least as long as i have a good map and clear directions anyway. It was awesome working with my son. I got to watch him work hard and be a good person this weekend. I'm so proud of him.
I also felt like those years on FNL were appreciated. Brad, at one point, stopped me and Josh and introduced us to some friends he knew from highschool. he was like, yeah, the Zellos ARE Dillon. Every game, every church scene, every restaurant scene, there they were, supporting our show. I never knew anyone noticed. I have to admit, it felt good to be appreciated. And having Kyle, our favorite actor, knowing our family's name, wow!! What are the odds and how cool is that?
Lots of money was raised. Lots of memories were made and it was just awesome all around.
Sorry, there are hardly any pics from me. I was so busy working, it didn't even dawn on me to go around getting pics with with the different cast members. I got a few with Kyle which I will post soon, but that's it. It just didn't seem the right thing to do, just not what this weekend was about, as far as I'm concerned.
So, that was my weekend in a nutshell. Had a blast. Helped a great cause. Can't wait till next year!
Here's a video showing exactly why this weekend meant so much to our family.
This weekend was incredible! And the Kyle encounters were just a small part of it. First off, i'd like to say, that in my opinion, the most special part of the weekend was being able to work with my son, Josh. I'm so proud of him and the way he's grown up. he has a heart for helping people and it really showed this weekend.
Friday morning, we drove to Bastrop. Beautiful weather, amazing drive. We found the resort with no problem and reported to the club house to get to work. The day before, I had been emailed a schedule of where I'd be working, but it became clear almost immediately that I wouldn't be following that schedule. The event coordinator and the volunteer coordinators were running around making everything go smoothly.
At first, we were kind of standing around, unsure of what to do . Josh and i saw Kyle briefly. He thanked us for being there. Josh told him that he had a DVD for him of Josh's latest movie, a zombie movie. Kyle thought that was cool and asked if it was fiolmed on a super 8. When we told him what kind of camera it was actually folmed on, he totally got it. Josh was impressed with that. Josh was also thrilled to meet a fellow film maker that day, who actually is going to come to the set and help Josh and film.
Josh and i set up swag bags and did some basic busy work, then I got put on a golf cart to hand out refreshments too. I relieved a few people out on the course and Josh got put on the seventeenth hole. That's the hole that Kyle, Brad and some of the other cast were at most of the day. Josh said he enjoyed watching for a little while, but then it got old. I think he was out there like three hours. I was on the thirteenth hole for a while, then I got relieved.
Aftrer getting back to the club house, i was supposed to have lunch, but ended up skipping because of the line. I went back to the ball room and help set up for the gala. I ended up putting together these shelves with scissors and needlenose pliers with a couple from Bastrop who were volunteering. One of the coolest things about this were some of the awesome volunteers I met. There were people there from out of state who flew in to help and make a weekend out of it.
Josh came back from his assignments so we three were able to eat dinner together. After dinner, we set up the swag bags for the gala.
Josh and I ended up getting assigned to sell candid shots from FNL that evening. i think we sold about a half dozen pics or so. We saw Kyle that night and spoke to him for a few moments. He seemed really appreciative of all of us volunteers and made a point to thank us all.
Josh went up and gave him his movie. Kyle started talking to him about it and next thing you know, Kyle is asking for our phone number so he can call Josh and tall him what he thought of the movie. Then Kyle said to Josh, "I need to come work for you. " Josh was just thrilled. At one point in the conversation, I put my arms around Josh and told Kyle how proud i was of Josh and Kyle was like awwww!!
We met an online friend that night, our very own Josy, who is originally from France. She came in just for the gala in hopes of meeting Kyle. At one point, she was walking by and Kyle was up ahead. She went over to meet him and Jessie and i went with her. We were both a little irritated because the people that were talking to Kyle saw us standing there waiting and just kept bending Kyle's ear.
Finally, we had our turn. Josy was awesome. She went right up and started talking to him and took pics with him. He was really impressed that she came from France. I had made a comment about adopting her and Kyle was like, "you're adopting a French girl?" " so when we posed for pics, instead of saying cheese, he said "fromage", which, is French for cheese. It was awesome. Josy was so cool, calm and collected. It was awesome to meet her that night.
We took turns guarding the volunteer room and at one point, Josh and I went to the bakery. I was thrilled that they had chocolate croissants, my very favorite thing in the whole world!!
It was then that we ran into Kyle's younger daughter. We chatted with her for a little bit, then went back to the volunteer room. After a while, we helped out with the auction, then went to our hotel. We were so tired by that pojnt, that we actually got on the elevator and just stood there. Didn't press any buttons, just stood there and were all surprised that the elevator didn't move.
We got some sleep and then it was time to go back to BTL, for the disc golf tourney. I'm sorry, call it what you want, it was throwing a frisbee into a basket, plain and simple. Josh and I got assigned to hospitality and we had a blast. We were all happy with our assignments. My son took us offroading in the golf cart a few times, but i didn't fall out, so it's all good.
Josh and i seemed like we were following Kyle and his team around a lot but they stayed hydrated, which was a good thing. I had a bad moment when I stepped into a hole and twisted my ankle, but thank God, it didn't really start hurting until today. Nothing serious, it just feels like a pulled muscle. Before we knew it, it was time for lunch.
We ended up getting a table, right behind Kyle, who was soon joined by his wife and daughter. We ate lunch and were getting ready to leave, so we stopped and said goodbye to everyone, including Kyle. When we said goodbye, he stopped what he was doing and stood up, gave me a big hug and shook hands with Josh. I told him that I was so proud of him and that the event was awesome. i thanked him for letting me be a part of it and he thanked me and Josh for coming out and helping. He had a flower behind his ear from his daughter. Too cute. He then said, "you've met my wife." and i said no i hadn't, so he introduced us. I then told her "I hope I'm not being inappropriate here, but I know how hard it was when you all were doing the commuting thing, and being a military spouse, I know it's never easy doing the single parent thing and I've been praying for you." She smiled and said that the prayers worked.
Kyle, then went on about how our family has supported the show since the beginning and that Josh has made a zombie movie. Kyle seems really thrilled with that and he said he was going to watch it soon. I then gave his wife a big hug and told her how great it was to meet her and that I'm still praying for their family. She seemed touched. The only awkwardness was when Kyle was saying about our family, he and brad and some of the other folks at their table started clapping for us. I was like really? I was a background extra.
Then it was time to go home. We drove home to more beautiful weather and made it without any problems. never even had to stop for gas.
Speaking for myself, I felt like I was so blessed to be a part of this weekend. Gridiron heroes and The Buoniconti Fund are doing awesome things to raise money and awareness for spinal cord injuries. All of these people coming together for such an amazing cause was just humbling. God bless these people.
Josh got to do something he's never done before. I stepped way out of my comfort zone this weekend. I'm not great with driving to strange places, meeting strange people and doing different things, so this was huge for me. I feel like I can move mountains now. Well, at least as long as i have a good map and clear directions anyway. It was awesome working with my son. I got to watch him work hard and be a good person this weekend. I'm so proud of him.
I also felt like those years on FNL were appreciated. Brad, at one point, stopped me and Josh and introduced us to some friends he knew from highschool. he was like, yeah, the Zellos ARE Dillon. Every game, every church scene, every restaurant scene, there they were, supporting our show. I never knew anyone noticed. I have to admit, it felt good to be appreciated. And having Kyle, our favorite actor, knowing our family's name, wow!! What are the odds and how cool is that?
Lots of money was raised. Lots of memories were made and it was just awesome all around.
Sorry, there are hardly any pics from me. I was so busy working, it didn't even dawn on me to go around getting pics with with the different cast members. I got a few with Kyle which I will post soon, but that's it. It just didn't seem the right thing to do, just not what this weekend was about, as far as I'm concerned.
So, that was my weekend in a nutshell. Had a blast. Helped a great cause. Can't wait till next year!
Here's a video showing exactly why this weekend meant so much to our family.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
May is brain tumor awareness month...
The following is my son's account of dealing with a brain tumor. It was written four years ago, when he was eleven years old.
My name is Benjamin Zello. My friends call me Benji. I am eleven years old. I'm a fifth grader at Olympia Elementary. In many ways I'm just like all of you. I like hanging out with my brother and sister, I like going to Rudy's to buy ice cream and eat bbq. My favorite subject in school is recess, and most days in the summer, you'll find me at Schertz pool.
In some ways, I'm different. One of those ways happened four years ago. I was seven years old. I lived in San Angelo Texas. My life was good, except, lots of times I didn't feel good. I would get really bad headaches and sometimes I would throw up for no reason. Sometimes, I would get a funny feeling inside and I'd forget where I was. Then I would sleep for a long time. I slept a lot back then. My mom would pick me up from school and I'd fall asleep before we left the parking lot.
My mom took me to the Dr's after she saw me have one of these feelings one night. She said I had a seizure. The Dr told my mom that the symptoms I was having sounded like a tumor, but my mom wasn't worried. She said, most times it's not cancer and she didn't think I had anything to worry about.
Later that week, I had to have two tests. An MRI to look at inside my brain and an EEG to see what kind of waves my brain had. The EEG was easy. They put wires on my head with gel and I just had to lie still. My mom says I even fell asleep. The MRI was scary. I had to get a needle in my arm to let the techs see inside my brain. I was scared, but my mom prayed with me and held my hand. I remember the nurse was kidding with me and told me how brave I was, even when I cried. I had to lay in a closed machine and not move. My mom said to pretend it was a space ship. The machine made loud noises and I was cold. My mom stayed with me the whole time. When the jokey nurse came back in, my mom said she had tears in her eyes. That's how she knew something was wrong. After the MRI, we went to burger king and I came home and slept all day.
The next Monday, my mom let me and my brother walk to school alone for the first time. It was fun.
Then later that morning, I got called down to the office. I saw my brother and he told me he was called down too. We thought our house had a fire. We walked into the office and i was confused. My dad was there and my mom looked sad. She asked me if i remember that the MRI was to see if there were any weird lumps in my brain. I said yes. My mom said that there was a lump in my brain and it was called cancer. I didn't think anything at first. Then my mom said I would need surgery. That's when I got scared and started to cry. We went home and I got ready for surgery. I had to go up to Dallas and see lots of Dr.s. We stayed at the Ronald McDonald house and i got to eat at the purple cow. My mom cried a lot during those days.
Our church prayed over us and my school bought a huge teddy bear and gave it hugs and sent it to the hospital with me. I was scared but going to school and seeing my friends made me feel better.
I had surgery on a Friday. We woke up really early while it was still dark and drove to the hospital to get ready. It was raining. Soon, I was on my way to the operating room. When I woke up, my mom was there. She told me that they got the whole tumor and that I'd be fine. I had a small headache and my tongue hurt from the tube in my throat. I had a big scar in the back of my head that my mom called my trap door. I went home from the hospital two days later. We stayed in the Ronald McDonald house a few more days. The Drs said i was better and we drove back home to san Angelo. I went back to school a week later and started having MRIs sometimes to make sure the tumor stayed gone. It's been four years yesterday and the tumor hasn't come back.
The first time I heard about Relay for Life, we were in Biloxi Mississippi. My mom said that Relay For Life was an all night walk to help raise awareness and money for cancer research and that it would be a good thing to do. There would be other survivors like me and walking with them would make me feel like I was part of a really big family. The survivor lap was cool, but a little sad. I didn't know that there were so many people with cancer. I thought I was the only one. I was scared to walk the lap all by myself, but this nice lady named Lynn, who had breast cancer, walked with me and held my hand. My mom made friends with her that night and she'd give me hugs whenever she saw me after that. I love going to relay for Life. It's really neat to be around so many people who care about you. It's like they are cheering you on for surviving. There's one part that makes my mom cry every year. It's called the Lumiaria part. You can buy a bag and decorate it to be in honor or in memory of someone with cancer. When it gets dark, all the bags are lit with candles. My mom says that it's amazing seeing all those bags lit up. I'm looking forward to relay this year. It's on April 27th. This year, I'm big enough to walk all night. We're bringing our camper and we're going to stay for the whole thing. I've already raised some money and I'm happy to be a hero of hope this year.
The funny thing is, I don't think of me as being a hero. I'm just a normal kid like everyone else. I'm just a normal kid who is also a cancer survivor. I plan on surviving for a very long time.
Benji is fifteen now, and by the grace of God, continues to be cancer free. What has amazed me the most about this expereince, is how many children there are with brain tumors and other forms of cancer. It breaks my heart.
My name is Benjamin Zello. My friends call me Benji. I am eleven years old. I'm a fifth grader at Olympia Elementary. In many ways I'm just like all of you. I like hanging out with my brother and sister, I like going to Rudy's to buy ice cream and eat bbq. My favorite subject in school is recess, and most days in the summer, you'll find me at Schertz pool.
In some ways, I'm different. One of those ways happened four years ago. I was seven years old. I lived in San Angelo Texas. My life was good, except, lots of times I didn't feel good. I would get really bad headaches and sometimes I would throw up for no reason. Sometimes, I would get a funny feeling inside and I'd forget where I was. Then I would sleep for a long time. I slept a lot back then. My mom would pick me up from school and I'd fall asleep before we left the parking lot.
My mom took me to the Dr's after she saw me have one of these feelings one night. She said I had a seizure. The Dr told my mom that the symptoms I was having sounded like a tumor, but my mom wasn't worried. She said, most times it's not cancer and she didn't think I had anything to worry about.
Later that week, I had to have two tests. An MRI to look at inside my brain and an EEG to see what kind of waves my brain had. The EEG was easy. They put wires on my head with gel and I just had to lie still. My mom says I even fell asleep. The MRI was scary. I had to get a needle in my arm to let the techs see inside my brain. I was scared, but my mom prayed with me and held my hand. I remember the nurse was kidding with me and told me how brave I was, even when I cried. I had to lay in a closed machine and not move. My mom said to pretend it was a space ship. The machine made loud noises and I was cold. My mom stayed with me the whole time. When the jokey nurse came back in, my mom said she had tears in her eyes. That's how she knew something was wrong. After the MRI, we went to burger king and I came home and slept all day.
The next Monday, my mom let me and my brother walk to school alone for the first time. It was fun.
Then later that morning, I got called down to the office. I saw my brother and he told me he was called down too. We thought our house had a fire. We walked into the office and i was confused. My dad was there and my mom looked sad. She asked me if i remember that the MRI was to see if there were any weird lumps in my brain. I said yes. My mom said that there was a lump in my brain and it was called cancer. I didn't think anything at first. Then my mom said I would need surgery. That's when I got scared and started to cry. We went home and I got ready for surgery. I had to go up to Dallas and see lots of Dr.s. We stayed at the Ronald McDonald house and i got to eat at the purple cow. My mom cried a lot during those days.
Our church prayed over us and my school bought a huge teddy bear and gave it hugs and sent it to the hospital with me. I was scared but going to school and seeing my friends made me feel better.
I had surgery on a Friday. We woke up really early while it was still dark and drove to the hospital to get ready. It was raining. Soon, I was on my way to the operating room. When I woke up, my mom was there. She told me that they got the whole tumor and that I'd be fine. I had a small headache and my tongue hurt from the tube in my throat. I had a big scar in the back of my head that my mom called my trap door. I went home from the hospital two days later. We stayed in the Ronald McDonald house a few more days. The Drs said i was better and we drove back home to san Angelo. I went back to school a week later and started having MRIs sometimes to make sure the tumor stayed gone. It's been four years yesterday and the tumor hasn't come back.
The first time I heard about Relay for Life, we were in Biloxi Mississippi. My mom said that Relay For Life was an all night walk to help raise awareness and money for cancer research and that it would be a good thing to do. There would be other survivors like me and walking with them would make me feel like I was part of a really big family. The survivor lap was cool, but a little sad. I didn't know that there were so many people with cancer. I thought I was the only one. I was scared to walk the lap all by myself, but this nice lady named Lynn, who had breast cancer, walked with me and held my hand. My mom made friends with her that night and she'd give me hugs whenever she saw me after that. I love going to relay for Life. It's really neat to be around so many people who care about you. It's like they are cheering you on for surviving. There's one part that makes my mom cry every year. It's called the Lumiaria part. You can buy a bag and decorate it to be in honor or in memory of someone with cancer. When it gets dark, all the bags are lit with candles. My mom says that it's amazing seeing all those bags lit up. I'm looking forward to relay this year. It's on April 27th. This year, I'm big enough to walk all night. We're bringing our camper and we're going to stay for the whole thing. I've already raised some money and I'm happy to be a hero of hope this year.
The funny thing is, I don't think of me as being a hero. I'm just a normal kid like everyone else. I'm just a normal kid who is also a cancer survivor. I plan on surviving for a very long time.
Benji is fifteen now, and by the grace of God, continues to be cancer free. What has amazed me the most about this expereince, is how many children there are with brain tumors and other forms of cancer. It breaks my heart.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
An Amazing night!
Friday night, Jessie and i went to the Friday Night light screening for Gridiron Heroes. We arrived at about six and sat in the lobby. Jessie noticed when we were signing in, that Kyle wasn't there yet. So we grabbed a few seats and just people watched. At one point, Kyle walked in. He saw our family and came right over. As he was hugging me, I said to him, "wow, you really remember me?" He smiled and said of course he did. He came over and said hi and chatted for a few minutes. He reached out to shake Jessie's hand, but she was like " I want a hug!" So he gave her one!! He was asking about Grace's cast and what had happened, so we filled him in. I told him that I had taken Grace in for an appointment that week and was humbled by the amount of wounded soldiers that day. He was commenting how much that hopsital had built up. He then went in to the cocktail party.
About fifteen minutes or so later, we noticed that he was standing outside the party talking with a few fans. Jessie and I went up and asked about getting out pics taken with him. He graciously agreed. He then asked if we were going in to the party. I told him no. He asked why not. I told him about having the kids there. He said, so? I then had to tell him that it was slightly out of our budget, but that I'd be volunteering at BTL and he'd see me there. We talked a little about the weather last year and how much money they made and i told him how excited i was to be helping out. He seemed happy to hear that.
Then came the red carpet walk. Jessie and I were right up front. My son Josh, with his school camera, was standing WITH the media. All the actors came through and i got lots of hugs from them. Brad kept calling me cutie all night and told me not only was I a part of Dillon, but i WAS Dillon!! LOL!! Connie remembered my name and my Texas necklace and I told her I remembered that the charm on my necklace was her goodluck charm for the Emmy's. Kyle finally came through and signed an autograph for me. I gave him another hug and a kiss on the cheek and he kissed me back and smiled! Then it was time to go in to the screening.
The screening itself was awesome. Gridiron Heroes called up a football player and his family and presented them with a handicapped accessable van. It was a great moment. God bless the Canales' and everyone associated with Gridiron Heroes. They have truly been a blessing to so many families.
We watched both episodes and went through the autograph signing and then went home. My son, Josh got some awesome pics of the actors and I'll post them here as soon as I upload them to photobucket. I'm sure Jessie will post her experiences too. I'm so glad she finally got a hug and a picture.
I'm so blown away that Kyle remembered me and my family. He treated us like old friends. My husband was blown away by how quickly he came over to us after he saw we were sitting there.
Overall, it felt like a family reunion, I felt like after all those seasons extra-ing for FNL, all those early mornings, late nights, sometimes, shooting two or three times a week for long hours, I, and my family, were really appreciated. It was a great night!!
Clear eyes, full hearts.....
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v191/A....es%20Screening/
About fifteen minutes or so later, we noticed that he was standing outside the party talking with a few fans. Jessie and I went up and asked about getting out pics taken with him. He graciously agreed. He then asked if we were going in to the party. I told him no. He asked why not. I told him about having the kids there. He said, so? I then had to tell him that it was slightly out of our budget, but that I'd be volunteering at BTL and he'd see me there. We talked a little about the weather last year and how much money they made and i told him how excited i was to be helping out. He seemed happy to hear that.
Then came the red carpet walk. Jessie and I were right up front. My son Josh, with his school camera, was standing WITH the media. All the actors came through and i got lots of hugs from them. Brad kept calling me cutie all night and told me not only was I a part of Dillon, but i WAS Dillon!! LOL!! Connie remembered my name and my Texas necklace and I told her I remembered that the charm on my necklace was her goodluck charm for the Emmy's. Kyle finally came through and signed an autograph for me. I gave him another hug and a kiss on the cheek and he kissed me back and smiled! Then it was time to go in to the screening.
The screening itself was awesome. Gridiron Heroes called up a football player and his family and presented them with a handicapped accessable van. It was a great moment. God bless the Canales' and everyone associated with Gridiron Heroes. They have truly been a blessing to so many families.
We watched both episodes and went through the autograph signing and then went home. My son, Josh got some awesome pics of the actors and I'll post them here as soon as I upload them to photobucket. I'm sure Jessie will post her experiences too. I'm so glad she finally got a hug and a picture.
I'm so blown away that Kyle remembered me and my family. He treated us like old friends. My husband was blown away by how quickly he came over to us after he saw we were sitting there.
Overall, it felt like a family reunion, I felt like after all those seasons extra-ing for FNL, all those early mornings, late nights, sometimes, shooting two or three times a week for long hours, I, and my family, were really appreciated. It was a great night!!
Clear eyes, full hearts.....
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v191/A....es%20Screening/
Monday, April 4, 2011
Eight years ago today, the surgery..,,
It was eight years ago today that my son Benji had surgery to remove a brain tumor. I spent the last precious preop moments memorizing Benji and telling him how precious he is and how much we love him. How happy he makes everybody who meets him. I sent him to surgery knowing that I said everything that needed to be said.
During the surgery, time slowed down and sped up. i remember some things vividly, and other things are a blur. I remember the Muslim couple with their prayer rug, and their worried faces. I remember the male nurse who came in, and called this couple out of the room. They never returned.
The OR nurse would call every hour or so ,and update me. Each call would keep me going for another hour or so, so I never panicked.
My pastor, music minister and children's minister flew in, and played UNO with us. I won just about every game. I wonder if they let me win. Looking back, if I could've seen the shape I was in, I would've let me win too.
We ate mmunchies from a care package sent by the Joy school director, and talked about how special Benji was to us.
Then Dr. Shapiro came and spoke to us. Our pastor joined us in the hallway, much to the surgeon's chagrin. I remember looking at the surgeon's shoes, looking for Benji's blood, and feeling an odd mixture of relief and nausea that there was no blood. He told us that he believed he got all the tumor, but he would have to see another MRI.
I went into Recovery to see him, not knowing what to expect. A very sweet nurse met me at the door, and when I told her I was Benji's mom, she went on about how sweet and adorable Benji was. I went to his bedside, and indeed he was being sweet and adorable. Little innocent, sleepy smile on his face. He was feeling no pain. His tongue was swollen from the tube, and he wasn't thrilled about the tube sticking in his "privates", but he was fine. The scar was a surprise, but all this time later, it's still a suprise sometimes.
The next few hours were a blur, getting him all settled in ICU.
Benji's surgeon suggested to us that we go back to the house, have a meal, come back and say goodnight, then go back to the house, and sleep. Best suggestion that man could've had.
I slept like a rock that night!!
Here we are at eight years. Benji is 15 years old now. We're so blessed to have him here with us.
During the surgery, time slowed down and sped up. i remember some things vividly, and other things are a blur. I remember the Muslim couple with their prayer rug, and their worried faces. I remember the male nurse who came in, and called this couple out of the room. They never returned.
The OR nurse would call every hour or so ,and update me. Each call would keep me going for another hour or so, so I never panicked.
My pastor, music minister and children's minister flew in, and played UNO with us. I won just about every game. I wonder if they let me win. Looking back, if I could've seen the shape I was in, I would've let me win too.
We ate mmunchies from a care package sent by the Joy school director, and talked about how special Benji was to us.
Then Dr. Shapiro came and spoke to us. Our pastor joined us in the hallway, much to the surgeon's chagrin. I remember looking at the surgeon's shoes, looking for Benji's blood, and feeling an odd mixture of relief and nausea that there was no blood. He told us that he believed he got all the tumor, but he would have to see another MRI.
I went into Recovery to see him, not knowing what to expect. A very sweet nurse met me at the door, and when I told her I was Benji's mom, she went on about how sweet and adorable Benji was. I went to his bedside, and indeed he was being sweet and adorable. Little innocent, sleepy smile on his face. He was feeling no pain. His tongue was swollen from the tube, and he wasn't thrilled about the tube sticking in his "privates", but he was fine. The scar was a surprise, but all this time later, it's still a suprise sometimes.
The next few hours were a blur, getting him all settled in ICU.
Benji's surgeon suggested to us that we go back to the house, have a meal, come back and say goodnight, then go back to the house, and sleep. Best suggestion that man could've had.
I slept like a rock that night!!
Here we are at eight years. Benji is 15 years old now. We're so blessed to have him here with us.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Eight years ago today....
Eight years ago today. It started out like a normal Monday. We were stationed in San Angelo texas and I remember the weather was gorgeous that spring. Lots of rain made for a spectacular display of our state flower, the bluebonnet. That morning was bright and gorgeous.
Josh and Benji, then 9 and 7 were excited that I finally was letting them walk to school with their friends for the first time. Little did they know that I was excited to not have to get their three year old sister, Grace out of bed quite so early.
I had just lied back down for a little snooze when the phone rang. It was a nurse from pediatrics. Benji had an MRI to see what was causing his siezures the Friday before and she was calling to let me know the results were in. She told me to NOT bring, Benji, but to bring my husband. As she said that, my heart started thudding in my chest and i felt sick inside. It couldn’t be good news at this point. I remember calling my husband at work and begging his coworkers to have him call back. It was an emergency. Ten minutes later, Rick came home to find me on the stairs, sobbing, while Grace sat with me, confused. We spent the next little while getting Grace to a friend’s house and driving to the clinic. After we got to the clinic, the nurse, without meeting our eyes, directed us to Dr Sawyer’s office.
The next ten minutes spent waiting for him were pure torture. When he finally came in with Ben’s records, he didn’t seem to know what to say. I remember asking him something, to which he answered, "We’ll talk." At that point, I asked why he couldn’t just tell us what was going on. Then he said the words that would change our lives forever. "Benji has a brain tumor." I remember looking over at Rick and he had the most PLEASANT look on his face. Almost as if Dr. Sawyer just told him it was going to rain. His expression just stayed the same. Dr Sawyer, then started saying words like cancer, surgery, astrocytoma, Cooks medical center. Words that made no sense and didn’t fit into OUR family. All I could think was "My God, this is how we’re going to lose him." We’re going to LOSE him. I had never heard of anyone survivng a brain tumor. I felt so sad that he would not get to do all those normal things. I worried about how Josh would take possibly losing his best friend. I wondered if Grace would remember the brother who called her goose and loved her so much. This is what it’s like to be told your child has cancer.
I called Glenmore and a secretary answered the phone. I blurted out the news and she put the school counselor on the phone immediately. We then went to the school and talked with her about the situation and how we would tell Benji his life as he knew it was over. Again, it struck me how utterly gorgeous the weather was that day. I didn’t want to tell him. I wanted him to have that innocence.It was like if I didn’t tell him, then it wasn’t real.
The rest of that day was a flurry of phone calls and appointments to get Benji ready for surgery. Opthamology, Neurology, neurosurgery, oncology. The list of appointments grew. We made arrangements for my mother in law to come care for Josh and Grace while we dealt with Benji. That evening we took the kids to the park. I sat and stared and prayed. I prayed almost constantly during that time. Nothing eloquent, just please God, let me keep him. . That day was a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Everytime I woke up that night, it was just "Please God, Please God. over and over.
Benji’s school handled everything so graciously. His teacher and the school counselor told his first grade class and they all hugged a teddy bear to send with Benji. One of Benji’s teachers said that the counselor called a meeting with every teacher that had worked with the boys. this teacher said that everyone was devastated. I was devastated to hear this because I just wanted my child to be one of the gang, not the child with the brain tumor. The school raised three hundred dollars in two hours. This enabled us to pay for lodging while waiting to get into the Ronald McDonald house. Benji was actually able to go to school during this time between appointments.
One day was April Fools day. What I wouldn’t have given to be able to say April Fools. This is all a joke. We wore out a path between Angelo and Dallas. The Bluebonnets were spectactular that year, but i barely noticed.
His surgery was April Fourth and praise God, he’s been tumor free ever since. We live in San Antonio now. Benji is 15. The bluebonnets are out and they remind me of that sad time eight years ago when I thought I would lose my child.
Then I look over and I see Benji, with his fuzzy hair, freckles, and snarky little attitude and i don’t feel so sad anymore. I feel grateful that Benji is here with us and able to enjoy the bluebonnets with the rest of his family! Thank you, God!!!
Josh and Benji, then 9 and 7 were excited that I finally was letting them walk to school with their friends for the first time. Little did they know that I was excited to not have to get their three year old sister, Grace out of bed quite so early.
I had just lied back down for a little snooze when the phone rang. It was a nurse from pediatrics. Benji had an MRI to see what was causing his siezures the Friday before and she was calling to let me know the results were in. She told me to NOT bring, Benji, but to bring my husband. As she said that, my heart started thudding in my chest and i felt sick inside. It couldn’t be good news at this point. I remember calling my husband at work and begging his coworkers to have him call back. It was an emergency. Ten minutes later, Rick came home to find me on the stairs, sobbing, while Grace sat with me, confused. We spent the next little while getting Grace to a friend’s house and driving to the clinic. After we got to the clinic, the nurse, without meeting our eyes, directed us to Dr Sawyer’s office.
The next ten minutes spent waiting for him were pure torture. When he finally came in with Ben’s records, he didn’t seem to know what to say. I remember asking him something, to which he answered, "We’ll talk." At that point, I asked why he couldn’t just tell us what was going on. Then he said the words that would change our lives forever. "Benji has a brain tumor." I remember looking over at Rick and he had the most PLEASANT look on his face. Almost as if Dr. Sawyer just told him it was going to rain. His expression just stayed the same. Dr Sawyer, then started saying words like cancer, surgery, astrocytoma, Cooks medical center. Words that made no sense and didn’t fit into OUR family. All I could think was "My God, this is how we’re going to lose him." We’re going to LOSE him. I had never heard of anyone survivng a brain tumor. I felt so sad that he would not get to do all those normal things. I worried about how Josh would take possibly losing his best friend. I wondered if Grace would remember the brother who called her goose and loved her so much. This is what it’s like to be told your child has cancer.
I called Glenmore and a secretary answered the phone. I blurted out the news and she put the school counselor on the phone immediately. We then went to the school and talked with her about the situation and how we would tell Benji his life as he knew it was over. Again, it struck me how utterly gorgeous the weather was that day. I didn’t want to tell him. I wanted him to have that innocence.It was like if I didn’t tell him, then it wasn’t real.
The rest of that day was a flurry of phone calls and appointments to get Benji ready for surgery. Opthamology, Neurology, neurosurgery, oncology. The list of appointments grew. We made arrangements for my mother in law to come care for Josh and Grace while we dealt with Benji. That evening we took the kids to the park. I sat and stared and prayed. I prayed almost constantly during that time. Nothing eloquent, just please God, let me keep him. . That day was a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Everytime I woke up that night, it was just "Please God, Please God. over and over.
Benji’s school handled everything so graciously. His teacher and the school counselor told his first grade class and they all hugged a teddy bear to send with Benji. One of Benji’s teachers said that the counselor called a meeting with every teacher that had worked with the boys. this teacher said that everyone was devastated. I was devastated to hear this because I just wanted my child to be one of the gang, not the child with the brain tumor. The school raised three hundred dollars in two hours. This enabled us to pay for lodging while waiting to get into the Ronald McDonald house. Benji was actually able to go to school during this time between appointments.
One day was April Fools day. What I wouldn’t have given to be able to say April Fools. This is all a joke. We wore out a path between Angelo and Dallas. The Bluebonnets were spectactular that year, but i barely noticed.
His surgery was April Fourth and praise God, he’s been tumor free ever since. We live in San Antonio now. Benji is 15. The bluebonnets are out and they remind me of that sad time eight years ago when I thought I would lose my child.
Then I look over and I see Benji, with his fuzzy hair, freckles, and snarky little attitude and i don’t feel so sad anymore. I feel grateful that Benji is here with us and able to enjoy the bluebonnets with the rest of his family! Thank you, God!!!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The lump that won't leave.
So, about two weeks ago, I found a lump. I was getting dressed, ran my hand down my chest and there it was. I was concerned but not overly worried. I made an appointment with my provider and got seen. He said that since it was painless, not totally round and a little hard, that it was probably hormonal. He found quite a bit of lumpiness. Judging from where I was in my cycle, totally believable.
So I made a mammogram appt. The soonest I could get seen is April 5th. I figured by then, the lump would be gone.
Over the last week or so, all the lumpiness has gone down except for the lump that I was seen for. It's still painless, really hard and doesn't move. It feels like gravel. I'm starting to worry again. This is all very foreign to me. 43 years old and I've NEVER had a lump. I called today to try and get my mammo moved up. No luck. Im going to keep trying.
Please keep me in prayer over the next couple of weeks.
So I made a mammogram appt. The soonest I could get seen is April 5th. I figured by then, the lump would be gone.
Over the last week or so, all the lumpiness has gone down except for the lump that I was seen for. It's still painless, really hard and doesn't move. It feels like gravel. I'm starting to worry again. This is all very foreign to me. 43 years old and I've NEVER had a lump. I called today to try and get my mammo moved up. No luck. Im going to keep trying.
Please keep me in prayer over the next couple of weeks.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Happy New year!!
Okay, I'm not great at updating. In fact, I think it's safe to say, I suck at this blogging thing. yet i keep coming back and posting every so often. I think about the blog posts that catch my attention. It seems like I have an interest in those blogs that are day to day and that i can just follow lives of the bloggers that i read. Unfortunately, my day to day isn't all that blog worthy. So rather than take up valuable time and space, i'm going to update when I can and go from there.
The last time I posted, I was fixing to end my time as an extra on FNL, my family was gearing up for the summer and my kids were growing up.
I hate goodbyes. I hate seeing the end of anything. So I took myself out of FNL early. I made a conscious decision that the last Austin games would be my farewell. I said my goodbyes and i moved on. it's been bittersweet, but I don't feel like hanging on to the bitter end would have been a good idea. I left on my terms and i have no regrets about that.
Pretty much as soon as my time on FNL ended, we had an interesting houseguest for two weeks. Some friends of ours from church were being stationed in Washington State and needed to find housing and get settled. So we hosted their mom, Reba for two weeks. It was awesome. I loved having her here. She made me feel special, like I was doing something great for her. But really, she was the blessing. Having her here added so much to our family. She was 92 at the time and shared so much history and wisdom with our kids. She has the most positive attitude and just had such a good time. I wish she could come back and stay with us again some time.
During this time, my oldest son Josh was living away from home. he took a job at Camp Tejas in the summer ministry team. We went up there to visit him one weekend and it was like seeing someone in their natural element. He just fit right in and was a part of something special. He'll be returning next summer.
With FNL ending, I was able to focus on my REAL job, doing childcare at my church. What a blessing this job has turned out to be. I love my kids, my coworkers and actually look forward to going to work each day. This job has become more like a ministry to me and I'm so very blessed.
Life has been good for all of us. Our family has been here in Texas for five years and truly feel like we're home to stay. After being military for so long, it's a great feeling to just sit still for a while.
I'll try really hard to update more often.
The last time I posted, I was fixing to end my time as an extra on FNL, my family was gearing up for the summer and my kids were growing up.
I hate goodbyes. I hate seeing the end of anything. So I took myself out of FNL early. I made a conscious decision that the last Austin games would be my farewell. I said my goodbyes and i moved on. it's been bittersweet, but I don't feel like hanging on to the bitter end would have been a good idea. I left on my terms and i have no regrets about that.
Pretty much as soon as my time on FNL ended, we had an interesting houseguest for two weeks. Some friends of ours from church were being stationed in Washington State and needed to find housing and get settled. So we hosted their mom, Reba for two weeks. It was awesome. I loved having her here. She made me feel special, like I was doing something great for her. But really, she was the blessing. Having her here added so much to our family. She was 92 at the time and shared so much history and wisdom with our kids. She has the most positive attitude and just had such a good time. I wish she could come back and stay with us again some time.
During this time, my oldest son Josh was living away from home. he took a job at Camp Tejas in the summer ministry team. We went up there to visit him one weekend and it was like seeing someone in their natural element. He just fit right in and was a part of something special. He'll be returning next summer.
With FNL ending, I was able to focus on my REAL job, doing childcare at my church. What a blessing this job has turned out to be. I love my kids, my coworkers and actually look forward to going to work each day. This job has become more like a ministry to me and I'm so very blessed.
Life has been good for all of us. Our family has been here in Texas for five years and truly feel like we're home to stay. After being military for so long, it's a great feeling to just sit still for a while.
I'll try really hard to update more often.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
