They're so awesome. I'm so thankful that I have the kind of relationship with them that they enjoy spending time with me, even as big as they're getting. Tomorrow, Grace and i are going to have ladies night out. We're going to La Cantera to the vera Bradley store for an event, then we're going dress shopping for Grace. Sher's so cute about it. She's been setting out her clothes and deciding very seriously what Vera bag she's taking tomorrow night and what wallet will match best.
The boys and i are going to have movie night Thursday Night, since we're off on Friday. We're watching New Moon. We're going to watch late and stuff ourselves with popcorn. The boys are pretty excited about it.It's nice to be able to share their interests and be able to relate to them this way. I'm very much counting my blessings tonight1 I'm off to pick Josh up from work!!
Nothing earth shattering. Saturday, we just relaxed and stayed at home. i caught up on some much needed rest and read a couple of library books. The kids just hung out and relaxed also. i took Josh to work at the church and came across a horrible wreck. An SUV flipped off of 1604 down an enbankment. An 18 year old girl was driving and lost control. She was in critical conditiion last report we heard. It seems like just as my son is fixing to get his license, there are all these accidents involving teenagers. Some of them fatal. I don't want to worry about josh's driving because he is a good driver, but still...
Today was church. I ended up sneaking out and going to the infant room. Gosh, i love infants. everybody should have an infant at least once. There's nothing in the world like chubby, chewy thighs and rosy chubby cheeks to sniff. And don't get even get me started on little round piggies that smell like baby sweat. Oh my!! And the best part?? Handing these babies back to mom at the end of the service. I love my job. It feels like i'm doing something so important caring for these babies and preschoolers. I'm so blessed.
How can that be? Today of all days?? Three hours of sleep under my belt, the migraine from you know where and I'm late because i can't find my keys. I go into work and WHAT??? I didn't need to be there?? I could have stayed home and slept a few more hours. Oh well, better to show up and go home early, then not show up and be needed. Then no MOPS next week for Good friday, but at least i get to teach in the evening, then no MOPS on the ninth because of Grace's school thingie that I'm chaperoning. I think a nap is in order right about now.
Yay! Today's Friday!! I'm looking forward to seeing my preschoolers this morning. This weekend is going to be just a lot of relaxing. Rick has to work, so me and the kids are just going to stay home and chill. I like Rick's new job. he seems to enjoy teaching and the schedule seems to be working for now, which is good, because he only has a little over a week left till his break from teaching.
Yesterday, Josh interviewed Eddie Canales, the founder of Gridiron Heroes. Josh got some really good info that he'll be writing a story about for his school paper very soon. It's a great organization that our family is proud to support.
*Childhood cancers are the #1 disease killer of children - more than asthma, cystic fibrosis, diabetes, and pediatric AIDS combined.
*Childhood cancer is not a single disease, but rather many different types that fall into 12 major categories. Common adult cancers are extremely rare in children, yet many cancers are almost exclusively found in children.
*Childhood Cancers are cancers that primarily affect children, teens, and young adults. When cancer strikes children and young adults it affects them differently than it would an adult.
*Attempts to detect childhood cancers at an earlier stage, when the disease would react more favorably to treatment, have largely failed. Young patients often have a more advanced stage of cancer when first diagnosed. (Approximately 20f adults with cancer show evidence the disease has spread, yet almost 80f children show that the cancer has spread to distant sites at the time of diagnosis).
*Cancer in childhood occurs regularly, randomly, and spares no ethnic group, socioeconomic class, or geographic region.
*The cause of most childhood cancers are unknown and at present, cannot be prevented. (Most adult cancers result from lifestyle factors such as smoking, diet, occupation, and other exposure to cancer-causing agents).
*One in every 330 Americans will develop cancer by the age of 20. On the average, 12,500 children and adolescents in the U.S. are diagnosed with cancer each year.
*On the average, 1 in every 4 elementary school has a child with cancer. The average high school has two students who are a current or former cancer patient. In the U.S., about 46 children and adolescents are diagnosed with cancer every weekday.
*While the cancer death rate has dropped more dramatically for children than for any other age group, 2,300 children and teenagers will die each year from cancer.
*Childhood leukemia (making up the largest group of childhood cancers) was once a certain death sentence, but now can be cured almost 80% the time.
*Today, up to 75f the children with cancer can be cured, yet, some forms of childhood cancers have proven so resistant to treatment that, in spite of research, a cure is illusive.
*Several childhood cancers continue to have a very poor prognosis, including: brain stem tumors, metastatic sarcomas, relapsed acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and relapsed non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
We had quite the little storm last night and this morning, it's as clear as crystal outside. I think I'll open the windows, go for a walk and just enjoy today. I'm hoping this is going to be a nice rainy spring. Lots of rain makes for lots of veggies from our garden and lots of flowers. Works for me!!
It started out like a normal Monday. We were stationed in San Angelo texas and I remember the weather was gorgeous that spring. Lots of rain made for a spectacular display of our state flower, the bluebonnet. That morning was bright and gorgeous. Josh and Benji, then 9 and 7 were excited that I finally was letting them walk to school with their friends for the first time. Little did they know that I was excited to not have to get their three year old sister, Grace out of bed quite so early.
I had just lied back down for a little snooze when the phone rang. It was a nurse from pediatrics. Benji had an MRI to see what was causing his siezures the Friday before and she was calling to let me know the results were in. She told me to NOT bring, Benji, but to bring my husband. As she said that, my heart started thudding in my chest and i felt sick inside. It couldn’t be good news at this point. I remember calling my husband at work and begging his coworkers to have him call back. It was an emergency. Ten minutes later, Rick came home to find me on the stairs, sobbing, while Grace sat with me, confused. We spent the next little while getting Grace to a friend’s house and driving to the clinic.
After we got to the clinic, the nurse, without meeting our eyes, directed us to Dr Sawyer’s office. The next ten minutes spent waiting for him were pure torture. When he finally came in with Ben’s records, he didn’t seem to know what to say. I remember asking him something, to which he answered, "We’ll talk." At that point, I asked why he couldn’t just tell us what was going on. Then he said the words that would change our lives forever. "Benji has a brain tumor." I remember looking over at Rick and he had the most PLEASANT look on his face. Almost as if Dr. Sawyer just told him it was going to rain. His expression just stayed the same. Dr Sawyer, then started saying words like cancer, surgery, astrocytoma, Cooks medical center. Words that made no sense and didn’t fit into OUR family. All I could think was "My God, this is how we’re going to lose him." We’re going to LOSE him. I had never heard of anyone survivng a brain tumor. I felt so sad that he would not get to do all those normal things. I worried about how Josh would take possibly losing his best friend. I wondered if Grace would remember the brother who called her goose and loved her so much. This is what it’s like to be told your child has cancer.
I called Glenmore and a secretary answered the phone. I blurted out the news and she put the school counselor on the phone immediately. We then went to the school and talked with her about the situation and how we would tell Benji his life as he knew it was over. Again, it struck me how utterly gorgeous the weather was that day. I didn’t want to tell him. I wanted him to have that innocence.It was like if I didn’t tell him, then it wasn’t real.
The rest of that day was a flurry of phone calls and appointments to get Benji ready for surgery. Opthamology, Neurology, neurosurgery, oncology. The list of appointments grew. We made arrangements for my mother in law to come care for Josh and Grace while we dealt with Benji. That evening we took the kids to the park. I sat and stared and prayed. I prayed almost constantly during that time. Nothing eloquent, just please God, let me keep him. . That day was a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Everytime I woke up that night, it was just "Please God, Please God. over and over.
Benji’s school handled everything so graciously. His teacher and the school counselor told his first grade class and they all hugged a teddy bear to send with Benji. One of Benji’s teachers said that the counselor called a meeting with every teacher that had worked with the boys. this teacher said that everyone was devastated. I was devastated to hear this because I just wanted my child to be one of the gang, not the child with the brain tumor. The school raised three hundred dollars in two hours. This enabled us to pay for lodging while waiting to get into the Ronald McDonald house.
Benji was actually able to go to school during this time between appointments. One day was April Fools day. What I wouldn’t have given to be able to say April Fools. This is all a joke. We wore out a path between Angelo and Dallas. The Bluebonnets were spectactular that year, but i barely noticed. His surgery was April Fourth and praise God, he’s been tumor free ever since.
We live in San Antonio now. Benji is 14.. The bluebonnets are out and they remind me of that sad time seven years ago when I thought I would lose my child. Then I look over and I see Benji, with his fuzzy hair, freckles, and snarky little attitude and i don’t feel so sad anymore.
I feel grateful that Benji is here with us and able to enjoy the bluebonnets with the rest of his family! Thank you, God!!!
Benji will be participating in this years’ Relay For life. For more info on how you can support him in his journey, click on the relay link in my profile.
I'm a Christian, a proud Air Force veteran, a proud Air Force spouse, a born again Texan and mom to three amazing kids. One of which is a cancer survivor. God only knows why this path was chosen for him, but we're very blessed to have him with us, whole and healthy. If you'd like to read more about him, then you can visit him at http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/benji
It's hard to believe that just five years ago, we were living happily in Ocean Springs Mississippi, when Katrina came and changed our lives forever. We're very happy to be in Texas. You can read more in my blog, about how God has and continues to work his plan for our family.
I love to read, spend time with my family, teach preschoolers at my church and film as a back ground extra on my favorite show, Friday Night Lights. I also have a weakness for Vera Bradley bags!!
