They're so awesome. I'm so thankful that I have the kind of relationship with them that they enjoy spending time with me, even as big as they're getting. Tomorrow, Grace and i are going to have ladies night out. We're going to La Cantera to the vera Bradley store for an event, then we're going dress shopping for Grace. Sher's so cute about it. She's been setting out her clothes and deciding very seriously what Vera bag she's taking tomorrow night and what wallet will match best.
The boys and i are going to have movie night Thursday Night, since we're off on Friday. We're watching New Moon. We're going to watch late and stuff ourselves with popcorn. The boys are pretty excited about it.It's nice to be able to share their interests and be able to relate to them this way. I'm very much counting my blessings tonight1 I'm off to pick Josh up from work!!
Nothing earth shattering. Saturday, we just relaxed and stayed at home. i caught up on some much needed rest and read a couple of library books. The kids just hung out and relaxed also. i took Josh to work at the church and came across a horrible wreck. An SUV flipped off of 1604 down an enbankment. An 18 year old girl was driving and lost control. She was in critical conditiion last report we heard. It seems like just as my son is fixing to get his license, there are all these accidents involving teenagers. Some of them fatal. I don't want to worry about josh's driving because he is a good driver, but still...
Today was church. I ended up sneaking out and going to the infant room. Gosh, i love infants. everybody should have an infant at least once. There's nothing in the world like chubby, chewy thighs and rosy chubby cheeks to sniff. And don't get even get me started on little round piggies that smell like baby sweat. Oh my!! And the best part?? Handing these babies back to mom at the end of the service. I love my job. It feels like i'm doing something so important caring for these babies and preschoolers. I'm so blessed.
How can that be? Today of all days?? Three hours of sleep under my belt, the migraine from you know where and I'm late because i can't find my keys. I go into work and WHAT??? I didn't need to be there?? I could have stayed home and slept a few more hours. Oh well, better to show up and go home early, then not show up and be needed. Then no MOPS next week for Good friday, but at least i get to teach in the evening, then no MOPS on the ninth because of Grace's school thingie that I'm chaperoning. I think a nap is in order right about now.
Yay! Today's Friday!! I'm looking forward to seeing my preschoolers this morning. This weekend is going to be just a lot of relaxing. Rick has to work, so me and the kids are just going to stay home and chill. I like Rick's new job. he seems to enjoy teaching and the schedule seems to be working for now, which is good, because he only has a little over a week left till his break from teaching.
Yesterday, Josh interviewed Eddie Canales, the founder of Gridiron Heroes. Josh got some really good info that he'll be writing a story about for his school paper very soon. It's a great organization that our family is proud to support.
*Childhood cancers are the #1 disease killer of children - more than asthma, cystic fibrosis, diabetes, and pediatric AIDS combined.
*Childhood cancer is not a single disease, but rather many different types that fall into 12 major categories. Common adult cancers are extremely rare in children, yet many cancers are almost exclusively found in children.
*Childhood Cancers are cancers that primarily affect children, teens, and young adults. When cancer strikes children and young adults it affects them differently than it would an adult.
*Attempts to detect childhood cancers at an earlier stage, when the disease would react more favorably to treatment, have largely failed. Young patients often have a more advanced stage of cancer when first diagnosed. (Approximately 20f adults with cancer show evidence the disease has spread, yet almost 80f children show that the cancer has spread to distant sites at the time of diagnosis).
*Cancer in childhood occurs regularly, randomly, and spares no ethnic group, socioeconomic class, or geographic region.
*The cause of most childhood cancers are unknown and at present, cannot be prevented. (Most adult cancers result from lifestyle factors such as smoking, diet, occupation, and other exposure to cancer-causing agents).
*One in every 330 Americans will develop cancer by the age of 20. On the average, 12,500 children and adolescents in the U.S. are diagnosed with cancer each year.
*On the average, 1 in every 4 elementary school has a child with cancer. The average high school has two students who are a current or former cancer patient. In the U.S., about 46 children and adolescents are diagnosed with cancer every weekday.
*While the cancer death rate has dropped more dramatically for children than for any other age group, 2,300 children and teenagers will die each year from cancer.
*Childhood leukemia (making up the largest group of childhood cancers) was once a certain death sentence, but now can be cured almost 80% the time.
*Today, up to 75f the children with cancer can be cured, yet, some forms of childhood cancers have proven so resistant to treatment that, in spite of research, a cure is illusive.
*Several childhood cancers continue to have a very poor prognosis, including: brain stem tumors, metastatic sarcomas, relapsed acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and relapsed non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
We had quite the little storm last night and this morning, it's as clear as crystal outside. I think I'll open the windows, go for a walk and just enjoy today. I'm hoping this is going to be a nice rainy spring. Lots of rain makes for lots of veggies from our garden and lots of flowers. Works for me!!
It started out like a normal Monday. We were stationed in San Angelo texas and I remember the weather was gorgeous that spring. Lots of rain made for a spectacular display of our state flower, the bluebonnet. That morning was bright and gorgeous. Josh and Benji, then 9 and 7 were excited that I finally was letting them walk to school with their friends for the first time. Little did they know that I was excited to not have to get their three year old sister, Grace out of bed quite so early.
I had just lied back down for a little snooze when the phone rang. It was a nurse from pediatrics. Benji had an MRI to see what was causing his siezures the Friday before and she was calling to let me know the results were in. She told me to NOT bring, Benji, but to bring my husband. As she said that, my heart started thudding in my chest and i felt sick inside. It couldn’t be good news at this point. I remember calling my husband at work and begging his coworkers to have him call back. It was an emergency. Ten minutes later, Rick came home to find me on the stairs, sobbing, while Grace sat with me, confused. We spent the next little while getting Grace to a friend’s house and driving to the clinic.
After we got to the clinic, the nurse, without meeting our eyes, directed us to Dr Sawyer’s office. The next ten minutes spent waiting for him were pure torture. When he finally came in with Ben’s records, he didn’t seem to know what to say. I remember asking him something, to which he answered, "We’ll talk." At that point, I asked why he couldn’t just tell us what was going on. Then he said the words that would change our lives forever. "Benji has a brain tumor." I remember looking over at Rick and he had the most PLEASANT look on his face. Almost as if Dr. Sawyer just told him it was going to rain. His expression just stayed the same. Dr Sawyer, then started saying words like cancer, surgery, astrocytoma, Cooks medical center. Words that made no sense and didn’t fit into OUR family. All I could think was "My God, this is how we’re going to lose him." We’re going to LOSE him. I had never heard of anyone survivng a brain tumor. I felt so sad that he would not get to do all those normal things. I worried about how Josh would take possibly losing his best friend. I wondered if Grace would remember the brother who called her goose and loved her so much. This is what it’s like to be told your child has cancer.
I called Glenmore and a secretary answered the phone. I blurted out the news and she put the school counselor on the phone immediately. We then went to the school and talked with her about the situation and how we would tell Benji his life as he knew it was over. Again, it struck me how utterly gorgeous the weather was that day. I didn’t want to tell him. I wanted him to have that innocence.It was like if I didn’t tell him, then it wasn’t real.
The rest of that day was a flurry of phone calls and appointments to get Benji ready for surgery. Opthamology, Neurology, neurosurgery, oncology. The list of appointments grew. We made arrangements for my mother in law to come care for Josh and Grace while we dealt with Benji. That evening we took the kids to the park. I sat and stared and prayed. I prayed almost constantly during that time. Nothing eloquent, just please God, let me keep him. . That day was a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Everytime I woke up that night, it was just "Please God, Please God. over and over.
Benji’s school handled everything so graciously. His teacher and the school counselor told his first grade class and they all hugged a teddy bear to send with Benji. One of Benji’s teachers said that the counselor called a meeting with every teacher that had worked with the boys. this teacher said that everyone was devastated. I was devastated to hear this because I just wanted my child to be one of the gang, not the child with the brain tumor. The school raised three hundred dollars in two hours. This enabled us to pay for lodging while waiting to get into the Ronald McDonald house.
Benji was actually able to go to school during this time between appointments. One day was April Fools day. What I wouldn’t have given to be able to say April Fools. This is all a joke. We wore out a path between Angelo and Dallas. The Bluebonnets were spectactular that year, but i barely noticed. His surgery was April Fourth and praise God, he’s been tumor free ever since.
We live in San Antonio now. Benji is 14.. The bluebonnets are out and they remind me of that sad time seven years ago when I thought I would lose my child. Then I look over and I see Benji, with his fuzzy hair, freckles, and snarky little attitude and i don’t feel so sad anymore.
I feel grateful that Benji is here with us and able to enjoy the bluebonnets with the rest of his family! Thank you, God!!!
Benji will be participating in this years’ Relay For life. For more info on how you can support him in his journey, click on the relay link in my profile.
I LOVE to read. I can curl up with a book and finish it in one sitting. The Schertz library and the U.C libraries are my homes away from home. Before i discovered the joy of my local libraries, I would wait and buy the paperback. I have tons of paperbacks just sitting here. Now i'm all about getting the books from the library as soon as they're released. No more paperbacks. I'm all about the enduring heaviness of a hardback, the absolute substance of it. the thicker, the better.
I just read a book called Shanghai Girls by Lisa See. It was a good read, but a bit slow at times. Now, i'm just starting Look Again, by Lisa Scottoline. I'll be sure to give you all my thoughts after i read it. seems intriguing so far.
Last week was spring break in our house. With three kids in three different schools, spring break is a welcome respite from the usual routines. We ususally sleep in and go out to different places for lunch. We hang out together and have sleepovers with friends and whatnot.
Seven years ago, spring break was perfect. The kids were still little, so a trip to Mr. Gatti's and Unidad park was a special treat. We had friends over for playdates and enjoyed the beautifil San Angelo weather.
A week later, we found out that our Benji had a brain tumor. It was a day that changed our family forever. He's 14 now and is taller than me. He's healthy and smart and thank God for him every day.
We still love spring break, but in the back of my mind, I go right back to seven years ago. It makes each spring break with my kids all that much sweeter.
This morning at church, I got to watch Grace lead worship, along with the Mwangaza children's Choir from Uganda. Amazing stuff. Then I went and held a few babies. OMGoodness, there were some precious little ones there. One lambchop in particular had a Texas Tech bag, so I was telling him all about how important it was that he find his inner pirate.
Then I worked with the three year old class. Lots of fun, lots of wisdom coming from these little ones. Too cute.
Then home, then haircuts for the men. then dinner at Garcia's. Overall a wonderful day. It went by fast.
Good: Woke up during a storm, did not have to get out of my warm dry bed. Rusty came in and cuddled up beside me and his purring put me back to sleep. Got to watch Josh and benji's movie premiere today, along with a roomful of family and friends. I'm every bit the proud mama.
Bad: Same bad female problem as last month and the month before that. Thank God i'm getting this checked out soon and hopefully resolved.
Ugly: See above. Bad female problems+busy schedule away from a bathroom=STRESS and crankiness. Here's hoping tomorrow will be better!
was different. i got booked for this show called Generation Y. Josh and I got to the set at about sunrise. different show, different network, same issues. Waiting in numerous lines, sitting for hours, waiting to shoot a five minute scene. oh well, it was easy money. This show is definitely NOT FNL, in the SLIGHTEST. That's all I'm going to say to avoid offending or hurting feelings out there. We're just relaxing and staying home today. I'm enjoying the gorgeous weather.
Was good. I worked at church Saturday night and yesterday for the 1:00 service. Yesterday was a challange. I don't like chaos. I don't like walking into a situation where the kids are in charge of the adults and there's no structure or order. It drives me absolutely crazy. My boss had me check rooms at the beginning of my shift yesterday and my the time i went back into my room, it was a disaster. The other teacher, bless her heart, just let chaos come in and have its way. It wasn't pretty.
Today's the start of spring break. I'm very happy to have some downtime with my kids. They've been working hard. The weather is supposed to be decnt, maybe one day of rain. Spring break always brings back the memories though. it was right after spring break of '03 that my Benji was diagnosed with his brain tumor. During the break, I had no clue what was coming, but I really felt like it needed to be a special spring break. I took the kids out every day to somewhere fun. I had their friends come over. we slept in and just relaxed. It was a great week. I hope this week will be just as fun. Only minus the brain tumor.
very busy. I took Josh to the dentist and from there, it seemed like constant errands and chaos. To top it all off, Grace hurt herself in Kickball today. She jammed her pinky backwards. So, being that tomorrow is the last day before spring break, I'm keeping her home. I'll bring her into work with me in the morning, then after lunch we'll go to the library and just chill among the books. I love to read. I hope i can find some good things tomorrow.
I'm about to mess with my oldest. he's home for a dental procedure and he's slept in just a little too long for my liking, so I have iTunes playing some of his very least favorite songs. He HATES Black Eyed Peas, so me thinks I need to play "I've Gotta Feeling" at top volume!!
The bad thing about a blog is that it needs updates. Only sometimes, there' absolutely NOTHING worth blogging about. Today's been one of those days. So, goodnight for now and God bless. Perhaps something will inspre me tomorrow!!
Josh is 16, driving and started his first real job tonight, up at the church. Benji is as tall as i am and needs to shave and Grace is now ten. I always thought that I'd dread the changes and the growing, but I'm finding that I like watching how my kids are turning out. Sure, every now and then, I get baby fever and I miss having little ones, but then again, not so much.
I feel like I discovered a huge secret. I don't need to mourn what was, I just need to enjoy what is and embrace my kids' growing independence. In doing that, it frees me up to really enjoy the moments with my kids. Like driving with Josh and talking about Zombies, being Benji's iPod buddy and trading apps and songs together and reading in bed, while Grace cuddles up next to me, reading too. These are pleasures that I get to enjoy more and more as they get older.
Monday, March 8, 2010
So for the past few months, my cycle has turned on me. Bad cramps, migraines, you name it. Due to a clotting disorder, I can't go on hormones to regulate things. So, there are a couple of options open to me. An endometrial Ablation or quite possibly, a hysterectomy. My doctor put in a consult for an ultrasound and an appointment with a specialist. I'd love to have this problem taken care of ASAP, but i have a very busy spring coming up. Between filming FNL and some events that are tied in, family things and just life in general, I don't have time to be laid up. Thankfully, FNL has seemed to run its course and will be wrapping up by June or July. I don't want to stop filming. I feel committed to stick with this show until the final wrap. I'm hopng my health holds out that long. I guess we shall see.
I'm sad to see FNL go, but i feel like it's time that we all moved on. Five seasons is an impressive run for a show that frankly was not expected to make it through its first season. Knowing this far in advance that the show is ending will give the writers a chance to end this story well. I wouldn't want to read a book that was missing the last chapter and I expect no less from FNL.
Interesting news about filming. the Texas Film Commission recently made it mandatory for all extras to have proof of Texas state residency. I'm thrilled about that and think it's about time. I've read too much online about fans coming in and getting booked from all over the place and as a result, those of us who have been loyal to the show from day one are getting shoved aside. Being an extra is a job. It's not a meet and greet or a fan club event. It's a real show and the extras get booked to make money. Some of us, like me, have other jobs and this is just play money, but there are those of us who are really pursuing a career in acting. There are some of us who need the extra money that this job provides. And to be told that they can't work because someone from somewhere else wants to meet "Tim Riggins" is like a slap in the face. This is a Texas show and the opportunities it provides for employment belong to us Texans first and foremost. I'm so glad that the Texas film Commission agrees with me on this issue.
I'm looking forward to seeing how it all ends and i'm looking forward to the next phase of my life. I'll be going back to work with my preschoolers on a more consistent basis after FNL wraps. I've actually worked with the preschoolers so long, that i'm watching these kids grow up before my eyes. it's precious to be able to teach tham about Jesus. It gives me chills to know that someday when these kids look back on this time, they'll probably remember me. How cool is that?
Wow!!! I just looked at my last blog post and it's been such a long time. My kids are three years older and so am I. So much has happened since then. I've become a background extra on my favorite show, Friday Night Lights. it's been an awesome experience that I'll never forget. We're now retired from the Air Force and and happily settled in texas for the long haul. I now have two teenagers in the house. one of which is soon to get his driver's license. Kids grow up fast. Well, I promise to try harder to blog more often.
I'm a Christian, a proud Air Force veteran, a proud Air Force spouse, a born again Texan and mom to three amazing kids. One of which is a cancer survivor. God only knows why this path was chosen for him, but we're very blessed to have him with us, whole and healthy. If you'd like to read more about him, then you can visit him at http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/benji
It's hard to believe that just five years ago, we were living happily in Ocean Springs Mississippi, when Katrina came and changed our lives forever. We're very happy to be in Texas. You can read more in my blog, about how God has and continues to work his plan for our family.
I love to read, spend time with my family, teach preschoolers at my church and film as a back ground extra on my favorite show, Friday Night Lights. I also have a weakness for Vera Bradley bags!!
