A bitter sweet time of year....

As I sit here, enjoying a lovely spring day here in Texas, I can't help but think back to other springs in Texas. One spring day in particular, was especially beautiful. I spent a lot of time walking around outside on that day. It was gorgeous, clear and sunny, warm, with birds singing and the sound of kids outside playing. My boys picked some dandelions and were selling them to the neighbors. I was walking up and down the block, trying to coax my baby girl into making her debut. The next day, an equally beautiful day, our family welcomed Grace into our family. These perfect spring days make me smile when I think back to her birth.

Fast forward a few years. A different town in Texas. Equally beautiful weather. My boys were nine and seven. Grace was three and we had a whole week of spring break to enjoy. That year, I felt an almost urgent need to make spring break special. So we ate a lot of ice cream, had a lot of paydates and spent hours at the park, just playing and soaking up the Texas sunshine.
Spring break ended and within a few weeks, our lives changed forever.

Fast forward a week after spring break. A beautiful sunny Monday. My boys walked to school by themselves for the first time and I was just relaxing with Grace when the phone rang. Within a few hours, we had found out that my son, Benji, who was just in first grade, had a brain tumor.
Parts of that day are a blur. Parts of that day are forever etched in my memory. One moment that stands out in my mind is picking up the boys from school. We went outside and it was just gorgeous. I remember asking my husband how we could have gotten such bad news on such a beautiful day.

Thankfully, it's been nine years since that day, and Benji is still with us, whole and healthy.
Grace is now twelve years old and all three of my kids are looking forward to their spring break. Hopefully, they'll have gorgeous weather to relax in. I'm looking forward to having these days with my kids and making some awesome memories!

Here we go again. Sigh.....

So for the past several months, I've been dealing with cysts in my breasts. For the most part, these cysts have been harmless. In November, I ended up having a suspicious looking cyst biopsied. Thankfully, the biopsy showed no malignancy. The diagnosis was typical hyperplasia, which is good news. My doctor told me to follow up in May or sooner if there were any concerns.

Well, guess what? A month ago, I found two new lumps. I've gone through a full cycle to see if they'd shrink, go away, or grow. They've not shrunk, they're still there and the one feels slightly bigger than it did last month.

My dilemma is, I'm about almost totally sure these are more harmless cysts. I was tempted to just keep watching and go in May as scheduled. But these lumps are in my breast. So today I sucked it up and called for an appointment. And wouldn't you know it? For the first time EVER, I had a male operator when I called camo. What are the odds? So I'm going to see my PCM on January 23rd and we will go from there. Any and all prayers would certainly be appreciated. I guess it's better to go in and feel stupid, than to take a chance that there could be something bad. Thanks!!

Oh what a night, Texas style!!!

Monday night, my husband and I attended a very special event in Austin. It was a benefit concert to raise money for the victims of the Central Texas fires. the acts included Willie Nelson, George Strait, Lyle Lovett, The Dixie Chicks, Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson, Asleep at the Wheel and the Texas Tornadoes. The Emcee for the evening was Emmy award winning actor,  Kyle Chandler. It was an an amazing show musically, but also amazing was the way so many people came together for such a great cause. Over $500,000 was raised that night. My husband and I felt blessed to be there.
The musicians were incredible that night.

Music.

When I was about five, my older brother got a toodloop radio for his birthday. I remember it was blue and I was jealous that my brother could listen to music any time or anywhere he wanted. Back then, the only thing we had was WABC.
A couple of years later, my uncle gave me a stuffed mouse with a radio inside. I was in heaven. I loved listening to the radio while riding my bike. It was amazing being able to have music everywhere I went. I was hooked.
Years went by. During those years, I had boomboxes, and walkmans and cassette players. The novelty of taking my music with me never went away.
After growing up, having music was was still a huge part of my life but it was limited to my car.
A few years ago, I heard about this gadget called an ipod. I was unfamiliar with with the whole music download process so it just seemed beyond me. Itunes, ipod, imac, ihadnoclue. Whatever.
Then one night, my son won an ipod shuffle. He went home and started an itunes account. It was easy!! The next week, I bought myself a shuffle. Just like that, I had my beloved music back. In a little gadget the size of a matchbook.  I was hooked.
Since then, I've gone from a shuffle to a nano to my current itouch.  I take it everywhere with me. It's an everyday part of my life. Amazing that such a little device can have the capacity to hold so much music.and.make such happiness for so many people. All from a man who dropped out of college and built a computer in his garage. Rest in peace, Steve Jobs. You've most definitely made a.ding in the universe.

A special day, today!!

Twenty five years ago, I started the rest of my life. Today was the first day of basic training for the United States Air Force. People have many different reasons for joining the military. the reason that i joined was simple. I wanted out of New Jersey. By the end of my first week of basic, things became more complicated.

 

I put on that uniform for the first time and suddenly it was like the blinders were lifted. I understood why I got a lump in my throat whenever I hear our National Anthem. I realized why we observe holidays like Veteran's Day and Memorial day. The red, white and blue of our flag became almost dazzling to me as i would salute it every day.

 I suddenly was a part of an amazing family who lived and served all over the world. Never again would i feel left out, lonely or a misfit, as i did so often growing up.

 

As I sit here, I'm struck by what a different time we live in. When i was active duty, war was just an exercise in a hangar. I went through each day confident that the airmen i served with would be there every day. The only danger we faced was getting busted for drinking underage in the dorm in the middle of the night with our boyfriend.

 Two towers still rose up magestically in Manhattan and our nation was innocent and secure. Today it's a whole different military. Please keep our airmen, soldiers and marines in your thoughts and prayer as they serve in such different times. these people are truly putting their lives on the line for us every day and they deserve our respect and our prayers.

The first day of the rest of my life.

Twenty four years ago, I started the rest of my life. Today was the first day of basic training for the United States Air Force. People have many different reasons for joining the military. the reason that i joined was simple. I wanted out of New Jersey. By the end of my first week of basic, things became more complicated.

 

I put on that uniform for the first time and suddenly it was like the blinders were lifted. I understood why I got a lump in my throat whenever I hear our National Anthem. I realized why we observe holidays like Veteran's Day and Memorial day. The red, white and blue of our flag became almost dazzling to me as i would salute it every day. I suddenly was a part of an amazing family who lived and served all over the world. Never again would i feel left out, lonely or a misfit, as i did so often growing up.

 

As I sit here, I'm struck by what a different time we live in. When i was active duty, war was just an exercise in a hangar. I went through each day confident that the airmen i served with would be there every day. The only danger we faced was getting busted for drinking underage in the dorm in the middle of the night with our boyfriend. Two towers still rose up magestically in Manhattan and our nation was innocent and secure. Today it's a whole different military. Please keep our airmen, soldiers and marines in your thoughts and prayer as they serve in such different times. these people are truly putting their lives on the line for us every day and they deserve our respect and our prayers.

Ten years ago.

Ten years ago today was a beautiful day in West Texas. It was sunny and warm, with no hint of the sadness that would come in just a few short hours.

It was Tuesday. I dropped my toddler off at my next door neighbor's, then headed to Glenmore Elementary, where I was a volunteer in Josh's second grade class. Like I said, the day was beautiful. As I was pulling into the school parking lot, U2's Beautiful Day was playing on the radio. Ironically, that would be the last song I heard on the radio for many days to come. And to this day, hearing that song reminds me of that morning.

It was a busy morning in Mrs Williams room. I was busy helping the kids aith a reading assignment, when I hear an odd request over the intrcom. The office was asking for all teachers' aides to report immediately then a little while later for anyone that had a TV with antennaes to please bring them down to the office. For some reason, it reminded me of when the space shuttle Challenger blew up. I asked Ms Williams if something was happening in the news. She handed me a bit of paper that said that a plane had crashed into the Twin Towers. I had been to the twin towers as a teenager and I thought that maybe the weather was bad or it was a stunt gone horribly wrong. At that point terrorism hadn't crossed my mind.

Then the teacher's aide came back with news that another plane had hit the towers and they thought that it was intentional. The aide told me to call my husband. By the time I had called Rick, one of the towers had collapsed and there were rumors all over the place about other attacks around the country.

My husband's base was on lockdown. At that point, I was in shock. My husband was telling me all this and half my brain was registering and the other half refused to proccess any of it. At one point, I found my self asking Rick what time he would be home for lunch. It was a weird and scary conversation. I went back to Ms Williams' room and read to a couple of chilren. None of the kids knew what had happened. Though later, a fourth grader returning from a dental appointment would leak the news to his classmates. So the principal was pretty much forced to tell the older students what had happened. A part of me wanted to scoop up my kids right then and there and take them home, but I figured that they would be safe at Glenmore and i was right.

I went down the the cafeteria and loved on Benji and loved on Josh before going home. I had to get let out of the school to leave. We were on complete lockdown. The rest of the day was kind of a blur. family members and friends calling to see what we had heard and to update us.

I went to the school to pick my kids up and they had their hands full. Since the base was on lockdown, there were dozens of children who either had no way home or no one waiting for them when they got there. Everybody at Glenmore handled everything with such grace. I was so grateful that my kids were there that day. Now ten years have passed. We must never forget that day.

The rest of that week was completely horrifying. My prayers are with all of us that are affected by that day.